Dyslexia & A.D.D.

[Jennifer in VA]

Meet with the Psychologist today and took as many notes as possible. Long and short of it, is that Simon has ALL the markers of Dyslexia and is A.D.D, but not the typical Hyperactive, racing around the room, jumping off the tables kind. A lot of the academic type stuff sounded familiar from when we did testing about a year ago. When he finished tutoring at the end of March (and at grade level or supper close) he dropped some to below the 4th grade level. Not sure if it was the test given, the tester, the environment, or an actual loss of skill.

Although I've had a strong hunch for years, it still feels like a huge blow and I'm just not sure how to handle this. I'm frustrated that we didn't push harder when he was in lower grades, I'm frustrated that the public schools just didn't seem to want to help (they really do seem more interested in the money and other things), and right now I'm worried that I can't provide the help he needs. Should he be put in a school environment to get the help he needs, I'm just not sure how he'd do. He has a horrible time reading social cues and totally understands that he's on "the outside" of his peers.

So here I am, more confused than ever, not sure if we should continue home school (nothing like a dyslexic adult trying to teach a dyslexic kid), send to a special private school, or send to public school.

[Hollie in SC]

Hugs to you, sweet friend.

Have you ever talked with Kathy Kuhl? She is in your area and I was impressed with her at our convention. She seemed most willing to help and had a real spirit to serve. Her kids are grown. I think her site has info on getting a free consulation with her as well. http://learndifferently.com/

[Laura F]

Are you worried about working with his dyslexia or his ADD?

My 9 y.o. also has ADD without hyperactivity. She isn't dyslexic, but dh and I know that she wouldn't be well-served in a public school setting. She just won't get the 1-on-1 attention that she needs; plus the emphasis on homework won't make our lives easier. Private schools can be tricky, too, if they don't have the proper staff to work with LDs.

I'm guessing you might feel overwhelmed right now, but I'm still going to link you to the site for NILD (National Institute for Learning Disabilities). NILD is actually headquartered in Virginia, and it's trained therapists are exceptional. This is the page for schools/therapists in Virginia. We are redoing all of my dd's testing later this month, and we're driving to my parents' home to do her testing through NILD.

BTW, 9 is not too late to help your ds.

[Jennifer in VA]

Hugs to you, sweet friend.

Have you ever talked with Kathy Kuhl? She is in your area and I was most impressed with her at our convention. She seemed most willing to help and had a real spirit to serve. Her kids are grown. I think her site has info on getting a free consulation with her as well. http://learndifferently.com/

Still haven't tried to get in touch with Kathy. REALLY need to though and will move that to the top of my to do list. Will have to double check to see if she is going to the HEAV Convention.

Are you worried about working with his dyslexia or his ADD?

My 9 y.o. also has ADD without hyperactivity. She isn't dyslexic, but dh and I know that she wouldn't be well-served in a public school setting. She just won't get the 1-on-1 attention that she needs; plus the emphasis on homework won't make our lives easier. Private schools can be tricky, too, if they don't have the proper staff to work with LDs.

I'm guessing you might feel overwhelmed right now, but I'm still going to link you to the site for NILD (National Institute for Learning Disabilities). NILD is actually headquartered in Virginia, and it's trained therapists are exceptional. This is the page for schools/therapists in Virginia. We are redoing all of my dd's testing later this month, and we're driving to my parents' home to do her testing through NILD.

BTW, 9 is not too late to help your ds.

It's actually our 12 year old. Yes, it is very overwhelming. I've "known" for years that he learns differently and even a hunch that it was dyslexia. It is genetic and he has always seemed to "get" the school stuff from me. That knowledge should have been helpful to me, but at times trying to teach him has not brought out the best in me.

Time to breath deep, take a step back and take a different look.

[Laura F]

It's actually our 12 year old. Yes, it is very overwhelming. I've "known" for years that he learns differently and even a hunch that it was dyslexia. It is genetic and he has always seemed to "get" the school stuff from me. That knowledge should have been helpful to me, but at times trying to teach him has not brought out the best in me.

Time to breath deep, take a step back and take a different look.

I understand the feeling. My dd seems to have inherited my family's tendency towards anxiety. It's hard when our children struggle with the same things that we battle, isn't it?

[ShelleyW]

I second Laura's recommendation to contact NILD. My 2 dyslexic kids started working with them this week. It is a wonderful organization.

Check out Susan Barton's website. She has TONS of info on dyslexia and although the program is expensive, it is cheaper than tutoring and NILD and you can do it yourself. She has made it super parent friendly. I am sorry I can't remember the name of the website exactly but I think it is Bright Solutions for Dyslexia or something similar.

I was in your shoes earlier this year and now that I have had time to digest the info we have hit the ground running. I tested my dc (10 and 8 yo) just this morning and since January my ds has gone from reading at a K level to 1st grade 7 month and my dd has gone from 2nd grade 1st month to 4th grade 5th month with Orton-Gillingham tutoring that I have done myself. Feel free to PM me if you want more info, I would be happy to share.

[Cori]

Oh Jennifer!! I have so much to share with you!! The tester for Hunter wondered if he had a little ADD too, as in concentration for "boring" things.

First thing first, BIG HUGS. I'm trying to remain positive about Hunter's diagnosis but I get overwhelmed and sad sometimes too. I cried today and cried the day we got the news.



Let's talk some more sometime, after you've had more time to process, and we can support one another.

[Lindsey Carter]

I know hsing a LD kid is challenging! My eldest is very dyslexic, somewhat dsygraphic and has some difficulty concentrating/ sitting still. This was never something I expected. There are times I wish I could pass the job of educating him on to someone else. So I really get the overwhelmed, how can I do this, why me, I'm so exhausted, this is so hard feeling. I do. But in our situation I am really the only option (as we live in Japan) and I think hs is best for him anyway. This may or may not be the case where you live.

I think it is good to pray about it and look at all your options. Some things to consider...
-how much one on one and/or specific help would my dc receive
-what sort of special resources does the school provide
-how helpful are the regular classroom teachers with accommodations
-how well would my dc be able to cope with the distractions of a classroom
-how is my dc self esteem. Is he able to cope with constant comparison to other children (both positive and negative)? Can he take teasing and even some ridicule from other children. Middle school aged kids can be really hard on each other, especially on kids that are different (substituting in a ps middle school was really eye opening for me).
-how responsible and independent is my dc. Can he handle changing classes, remembering to bring home his homework, doing work independently at his desk, etc. Would being in these situations be confidence building or anxiety provoking?
-what special opportunities are there for his interests (such as elective classes, sports, etc). Would you dc need to maintain certain grades to be allowed to participate in these?
-how would my (as in the mom's) schedule be impacted by putting my dc into school
-how much time should I expect to spend helping my dc with homework
-What resources are there available to me if I homeschool
-How much time would I spend hs vs. taking my dc to school and doing homework?
-Is there a tutor who could work on a specific subject area with my dc?

I don't know the answer for you. It may be a ps or a private school could be a great thing for you or it may be cont to homeschool with some changes. I just thought I'd give you some ideas to think about.

[Cori]

Jennifer, I think Lindsey has a very good list there. The school psychologist who did H's testing told me it would be really hard to find a PS teacher that can understand the way H's mind works and help him. He's not that complicated of a kid, to me and his dad only probably, but he does like to be challenged in his areas of interest which are not really offered at school very much, not to the extent that he needs (robotics, science, technology, engineering/building, nature). And I do worry that being in the special education class with damage his self esteem.

Telling him he has dyslexia yesterday did not go well at all. I wish I'd listened to my gut feeling and not mentioned it. He likes being different with what he is good at, but he felt upset to have "something" that he can't pronounce.

Just take your time with everything, you have all summer to try new things, think of positive ways to help him. I'm excited to try Reading Horizons. I know there are a lot of products out there that can help, and the helpful advice in various threads too. In the end, I had to go with the one that makes sense to me because I have to understand it to teach it. I just pray that it makes sense to H too.